Updated: Feb 25, 2021
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Let’s learn about what red and green flags in a relationship are. These are terms used for unhealthy relationship traits vs healthy relationship traits.
These signify hurtful traits of communication in relationships. By doing these, the partner typically has power and control over the other partner. That is considered abuse.
Example: Your partner lies to make you think your memory is wrong or forces other people to lie to you to keep up with the story.
Example: Your partner dismisses your opinions or concerns.
Example: Your partner insists that everything is your fault.
Example: Your partner says you are not good enough to achieve what you want.
Example: Your partner will only do something if you do something in return.
Example: Your partner makes you feel like a big accomplishment is nothing to be proud of.
This is not a comprehensive list. But, this list should give you an idea of what TOXIC communication looks like. Toxic communication causes many relationships to create unhealthy habits. This does not allow for good, healthy communication. This is often caused by what was taught to you from parents, tv, movies, friends, etc.
So, why is that important? It is always a critical time to recognize red flags so you don’t get trapped in an unhealthy relationship. It is always okay to say no if you do not feel comfortable. You do have the power to say NO any time, any day!
These are good things! Healthy communication in relationships means your partner makes you feel validated. You feel safe sharing your concerns with your partner without worrying about negative consequences.
Example: Your partner listens to you when you talk, the big things as well as the details.
Example: Your partner knows when they are wrong, they should say “I’m sorry”.
Example: You tell your partner you want to go to college and they support and encourage you.
Example: Your partner and you have different opinions, and you both understand that these differences are not necessarily bad.
Example: You can your partner are able to communicate openly about how you feel, and often.
Example: Your partner supports you to reach your goals through good and hard times.
Can you see the differences between these two kinds of communication? It isn’t limited to people in romantic relationships - it can be anyone. Family members, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, etc. It’s a good way to develop your listening skills and understand that people have their own needs.
It’s a good idea to keep this information in the back of your mind so you know what healthy relationships look like. There’s always room for improvement! Remember, know your worth. Your future will go beyond what you can imagine and so will you!